Spoken in Love
Before we go any further, I want to speak heart to heart.
This teaching is not coming from a place of judgment, superiority, or condemnation. It comes from a place of deep compassion, prayer, and concern for the spiritual well-being of God’s people. Many who will read or hear this message have walked through painful seasons of loss, betrayal, confusion, loneliness, and broken dreams. Divorce is never easy, and remarriage is often entered into with sincere hope for healing and stability.
If that is your story, please hear this clearly:
You are not unloved by God. You are not unseen. You are not beyond His mercy.
But love also requires honesty.
As shepherds of God’s people, we are called not only to comfort wounds, but to guide souls away from danger. Silence may feel kind, but it can leave people walking unknowingly toward spiritual harm. Scripture teaches us that truth, when spoken in love, is an act of care—not cruelty.
This teaching is not meant to wound, but to bring light where there may have been confusion. Many believers have been taught conflicting messages, reassured without repentance, or left unsure of what God truly requires. God is not the author of confusion, and He desires His children to walk in truth that brings freedom—even when that truth is costly.
Jesus never adjusted truth to fit human pain, yet He always spoke with compassion. He looked at broken people with mercy and still said, “Go and sin no more.” His words were firm, but His heart was gentle. That same heart guides this message.
If this teaching challenges you, please do not rush to defend yourself or to turn away. Bring your heart before God. Ask Him to lead you, to show you His will, and to give you grace to obey Him fully. God’s correction is not rejection—it is an invitation to life.
Nothing written here is meant to strip hope away. On the contrary, it is written because there is hope, because repentance leads to restoration, and because obedience—even when it is painful—always leads to peace with God.
This message is shared with tears, not triumph; with prayer, not pride; and with the earnest desire that every soul would stand before God reconciled, forgiven, and saved.
May the Holy Spirit guide you gently as you read.
May truth and mercy meet in your heart.
And may God’s love lead you into freedom.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father,
we come before You with humble hearts.
You are the God of truth and the God of mercy,
full of grace, yet unchanging in holiness.
Lord, we ask that You quiet every anxious thought
and soften every guarded heart.
Remove fear, defensiveness, and confusion,
and replace them with a spirit of humility and teachability.
Holy Spirit, lead us into all truth.
Give us ears to hear—not with offense,
but with a desire to obey You fully.
Where there is pain, bring comfort.
Where there is blindness, bring light.
Where there is conviction, bring hope and repentance.
Father, protect us from condemnation,
but do not withhold correction that leads to life.
Search our hearts, reveal Your Word,
and give us grace to respond with obedience and faith.
Let every written word here
be measured by Your Word and guided by Your Spirit.
May this time result not in guilt,
but in repentance, healing, and restored fellowship with You.
We surrender ourselves to You,
trusting that Your truth is always an expression of Your love.
In the precious name of Jesus Christ we pray.
Amen.
REMARRIAGE AFTER DIVORCE – A MATTER OF SALVATION
The Crisis in the Church
Fifty years ago, there would have been no necessity to be concerned about this topic because the majority off Christians would have been livid if someone would have said marriage isn’t permanent. Unfortunately, the past half-century has brought unprecedented upheaval to our society and to the church. Beliefs that were considered bedrock are now treated as heresy.
Most of the modern church has become sadly silent on the issue of divorce and remarriage. Biblical precepts are ignored in favour of cheap grace. In the name of understanding and tolerance, modern churches accept remarried ministers, elders and deacons. Who will now speak of the lifelong covenant of marriage? The remarried (and unsaved) minister? Havoc now reigns and there seems to be no remedy.
The church is now at war with itself.
We have leaders acknowledge that teaching these Scriptures will destroy the professing church. Reading Scriptures about this issue in now considered to be satanic in some religious circles. In truth, there are now some verses that cannot and will not be read by ministers or teachers in most churches.
Some partially brave ministers will say only God can end a one-flesh covenant and say it is a sin to be remarried, but then turn around and say that those who are remarried should stay in that “current marriage.” This confuses many people.
The truth is that if you are in a second or third marriage, while your first (covenant) partner is still alive, then you are an adulterer and unsaved. You must repent – turn away from your adulterous marriage and if possible reconcile with your covenant partner or remain single until your first (covenant) spouse pass away.
Adulterers will not enter the kingdom of heaven (1 Cor 6:9-10).
Also read Prov 28:13 ; Acts 3:19 ; Romans 2:5 ; Ps 32.
Only death can break a marriage covenant.
Seeking Jesus First
I did not go to just anyone to form my remarriage beliefs. I read it in the Word and then asked Jesus about it:
“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery” Luke 16:18
What I could not understand was how an innocent partner that was divorced would be an adulterer also if he or she remarries.Time moved on since I enquired of Him, when, without even thinking about the issue, I heard God’s voice very clear in my heart:
“…because I acknowledge the first marriage as the ONLY marriage”
And suddenly all the Scriptures on remarriage and adultery made sense to me! I finally saw His words in the Bible very clearly.
“The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever.”
(Ps 12:6-7)
Confirmation Through Other Teachers
Afterwards, I came upon other teachers on this subject, like Dr Joseph Webb, Dr Mike Gorrie, John Piper, and many more, who confirmed what God was actually saying regarding remarriage.
When we hear a truth, whatever that truth might be, we do not dare allow humanism or human reasoning to come in and replace or twist God’s Word. The church has compromised, and the world came into the church today.
“There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.” (Prov 14:12)
The truth is that the early church did teach that marriage is for life and if a divorcee remarries while the covenant partner is still alive, it is called adultery.
And we should not be deceived; adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God
(1 Cor 6:9).
Repentance, Not Excuses
I heard people saying that God has forgiven them for remarrying into adultery. No sin in Scripture God forgave where no repentance was involved.
To repent does not mean to say “I am sorry” and then stay in the sin. It means to turn away from it.
Marriage is until death and no man may separate.
Some people say that the grace of God and His love is greater than that. But I tell you that God’s grace and love will never allow anything that His Word refuses. His Word is supreme, and it said that:
“Whosoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery…”
If pastors do not understand this teaching, they are literally allowing people to step into a place of judgment!
And by not correcting their mistake of marrying divorcees because of the ‘disruption’ it will cause in the adulterous marriages (and in the church), is pure evil, because the couple in the adulterous ‘marriage’ will stay doomed:
“But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.”
(Prov 6:32-33)
What the New Testament Teaches
When reading the New Testament in its entirety about this subject, the Scriptures are plain and clear.
The New Testament prohibits all remarriage except where a spouse has died.
The absolute statement of Jesus – ALL remarriages after divorce is adultery – no exceptions!
Key Scriptures:
Luke 16:18 "Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery."
Mark 10:11–12 "Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery".
Must Stay Single After Divorce
1 Corinthians 7:11 "But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband."
Let No Man Separate
Mark 10:8–9 "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
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Eleven Reasons Why Remarriage After Divorce Is Prohibited While Both Spouses Are Alive
(Teaching by John Piper)
1. Luke 16 calls all remarriage after divorce adultery
Luke 16:18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
1.1 This verse shows that Jesus does not recognize divorce as terminating a marriage in God's sight. The reason a second marriage is called adultery is because the first one is considered to still be valid. So, Jesus is taking a stand against the Jewish culture in which all divorce was considered to carry with it the right of remarriage.
1.2 The second half of the verse shows that not merely the divorcing man is guilty of adultery when he remarries, but also any man who marries a divorced woman.
1.3 Since there are no exceptions mentioned in the verse, and since Jesus is clearly rejecting the common cultural conception of divorce as including the right of remarriage, the first readers of this gospel would have been hard-put to argue for any exceptions on the basis that Jesus shared the cultural assumption that divorce for unfaithfulness or desertion freed a spouse for remarriage.
2. Mark 10 calls all remarriage after divorce adultery—whether it is the husband or the wife
Mark 10:11–12 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
2.1 This text repeats the first half of Luke 16:18 but goes farther and says that not only the man who divorces, but also a woman who divorces, and then remarries is committing adultery.
2.2 As in Luke 16:18, there are no exceptions mentioned to this rule.
3. Jesus reasserts God’s original design for marriage - Jesus rejects the Pharisees’ justification of divorce
Mark 10:2–9 “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Matthew 19:3–9 “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
3.1 In both Matthew and Mark the Pharisees come to Jesus and test him by asking him whether it is lawful for a man to divorce his wife. They evidently have in mind Deuteronomy 24:1.
3.2 Jesus answers:
“Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives” (Mt. 19:8).
3.3 Jesus then points back to God’s original intention in creation (Genesis 1:27; 2:24).
3.4 From these passages Jesus concludes:
“So they are no longer two, but one.”
3.5 Jesus raises the standard of marriage back to God’s original design and rejects human attempts to undo the one-flesh relationship.
3.6 The absolute statement “let no man put asunder” should be understood as governing Matthew 19:9, especially since Mark 10 contains no exception.
4. Matthew 5:32 reaffirms remarriage as adultery
Matthew 5:32 “Everyone who divorces his wife… makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
4.1 Jesus assumes many divorced women will remarry, yet He still calls that remarriage adultery.
4.2 Even an innocently divorced wife commits adultery if she remarries.
4.3 Jesus’ opposition to remarriage rests on the unbreakableness of marriage except by death.
4.4 Allowing remarriage for the guilty but not the innocent leads to moral contradictions.
4.4.1 It elevates sexual intercourse above covenant.
4.4.2 Adultery does not dissolve the one-flesh bond.
5. 1 Corinthians 7:10–11 forbids remarriage
1 Corinthians 7:10–11 “Let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband.”
5.1 Paul refers directly to a command of Jesus.
5.2 Even in unavoidable separation, remarriage is excluded.
5.3 No exceptions are mentioned.
6. Remarriage is permitted only after death
1 Corinthians 7:39 “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.”
Romans 7:1–3
6.1 No exceptions are stated other than death.
7. God gives grace for lifelong singleness
Matthew 19:10–12
7.1 Jesus acknowledges the difficulty of His command.
7.2 The ability to obey is a divine gift.
7.3 This grace marks true discipleship.
8. Deuteronomy 24 does not authorize remarriage
Deuteronomy 24:1–4 does not legislate divorce but assumes the permanence of the one-flesh bond.
9. 1 Corinthians 7:15 does not allow remarriage
1 Corinthians 7:15
9.1 “Not bound” does not mean free to remarry.
9.1.1 Marriage is a creation ordinance.
9.1.2 Paul uses a different Greek word than for marriage bond.
9.1.3 Peace means freedom from conflict, not permission to remarry.
9.1.4 This aligns with verses 10–11.
9.1.5 Verse 16 supports non-coercion, not remarriage.
9.1.6 Singleness is not slavery.
10. 1 Corinthians 7:27–28 addresses the betrothed, not divorcees
1 Corinthians 7:27–28
10.1 This passage concerns virgins and the betrothed.
10.1.1 Paul signals a new topic.
10.1.2 It would contradict verse 11 if applied to divorcees.
10.1.3 Verse 36 confirms betrothal context.
10.1.4 “Wife” means woman or betrothed.
10.1.5 Paul does not use divorce terminology.
11. The exception clause of Matthew 19:9
Matthew 19:9
11.1 “Except for immorality” refers to porneia, not adultery.
11.2 Matthew uses porneia differently from moicheia.
Scholarly Support
A. Isaksson; Heth & Wenham; Marriage and Ministry.
Joseph and Mary
Matthew includes the exception clause to address betrothal, not marriage.
Advantages of This Interpretation
Preserves harmony with Mark and Luke
Explains Matthew’s use of porneia
Matches Matthew 15:19
Fits Joseph’s situation in Matthew 1
Conclusions and Applications
In the New Testament the question about remarriage after divorce is not determined by:
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The guilt or innocence of either spouse
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Whether either spouse is a believer or not
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Whether the divorce happened before or after conversion
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The difficulty of living single
-
Adultery or desertion
-
Hardness of the human heart
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Cultural permissiveness
Rather it is determined by the fact that:
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Marriage is a one-flesh relationship established by God
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Only God can end it
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Death alone dissolves it
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God’s grace is sufficient for singleness
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Obedience is better than remarriage
Final Call to Repentance
"If we admit that we have sinned, and confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9)
"I tell you, No; but unless you repent (change your mind for the better and heartily amend your ways, with abhorrence of your past sins), you will all likewise perish and be lost eternally" (Luke 13:3) Amplified
"Therefore, repent and turn to him to have your sins blotted out..." (Acts 3:19)
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Remarriage after Divorce:
A MATTER OF SALVATION
By Charmaine Tomè
